Writing is my happy place, and last night I had some fun creating a parody of Dr. Seuss’s classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I’m sharing with the hope that it can bring someone a smile during this difficult time.
The Virus Who Tried to Ruin Easter
So many humans on Earth liked Easter a lot…
But COVID-19 clearly did not!
The virus hated Easter! The whole spring season!
Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be that cruise ships made it uneasy,
It could be that airplanes made it downright queasy.
But I think the most likely reason is plain:
The Easter bunny wouldn’t play COVID’s zoonotic game!
Whatever the reason, because who really knows,
The virus hovered before Easter, spreading its woes.
It flew through the air in minuscule droplets,
As families stuffed baskets with gobs of chocolates.
“They’re dyeing their eggs” the virus snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Easter! It’s practically here!”
Suddenly COVID came up with a brilliant endeavor:
It found a way to ruin Easter forever!
For tomorrow, it knew, children would hop to their legs.
They’d wake bright and early! They’d go looking for eggs!
They’d feast on fancy omelettes, on turkeys and hams,
They’d feast on green beans that came straight from tin cans,
They’d eat jello and for some reason call it a salad.
(Perhaps COVID’s hatred of Easter was valid?)
They’d place silly bonnets upon their heads,
They’d fly kites in the breeze and bake bunny bread.
They’d flock to churches, to parks, and to grandma’s old farm,
And that’s where COVID knew it could do the most harm.
It would fly up and down every last pew,
Releasing viral RNA with every achoooo!
That nasty COVID was so smart and so slick,
It also spread lies about how it makes people sick!
“It’s only the flu,” it told all the masses,
“I’ll go away as soon as the cold season passes.”
“As long as you’re asymptomatic you’re fine!”
(That was one of its most dangerous lines.)
But scientists were smart and warned every person
To follow the rules or COVID would worsen.
They shut down the schools and took learning online,
They stayed six feet from others all of the time.
They washed their hands for twenty seconds or more,
And only made essential trips to the store.
They still went to church, thanks to Zoom
From the safety and comfort of their living room.
People worked from home as much as they could,
It was necessary for the greater good.
So on Easter morning, COVID was in for a surprise.
Its plot to ruin Easter was not realized!
It stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
It knew a vaccine was still a no-go.
“They’re happy despite quarantines? There’s not even enough masks!”
“They’re happy despite social distancing tasks?”
The virus kept puzzling as it flowed through the stores,
But there wasn’t anyone to infect anymore.
Humans cared too much about their world and their health,
So they modified plans for April the 12th.
There were too many losses, but many more were saved,
And the health care heroes were so very brave.
Priorities shifted, and life slowed down,
And eventually COVID slinked away, wearing a frown.
This global pandemic has impacted everybody,
From China to Italy to New York City.
Stay patient, stay sane, and don’t lose heart.
Stay home, stay healthy, and do your part!
History proves that this won’t last forever,
We’re living apart, but we’ll get through it together!
~Staci Quigley Cox